Stranica 192 [192]
142
c Well," cried the lady.
_“ Have the goodness to look at me,”
said Mr. Bumble, fixing his eyes upon her.
“Tf she stands such a eye as that," said
Mr. Bumble to himself, "she can stand
anything. It is a eye I never knew to
fail with paupers, and if it fails with her
. my power is gone.”
Whether an exceedingly small expan¬
sion of eye is sufficient to quell paupers,
who, being lightly fed, are in no very high
condition, or whether the late Mrs. Cor¬
ney was particularly proof against eagle
glances, are matters of opinion. ‘The mat¬
ter of fact is, that the matron was in no
way overpowered by Mr. Bumble’s scowl],
disdain, and even raised a laugh thereat,
On hearing this most unexpected sound,
Mr. Bumble looked first incredulous, and
afterwards amazed. He then relapsed
into his former state; nor did he rouse
himself until his attention was again
awakened by the voice of his partner.
“Are you agoing to sit snoring there
all day ?" inquired Mrs. Bumble.
“j am going to sit here as long as I
think proper, ma’am,” rejoined Mr. Bum¬
ble; “and although I was not snoring, I
shall snore, gape, sneeze, laugh, or cry, as
the humour strikes me, such being my
prerogative.”
“ Your prerogative !” sneered Mrs, Bum¬
ble, with ineffable contempt.
“] said the word, ma’am,” observed Mr.
Bumble. “The prerogative of a man is
to command.”
** And what’s the prerogative of a wo¬
man, in the name of goodness?” cried the
relict of Mr. Corney deceased.
“To obey, ma’am,” thundered Mr. Bum¬
ble. “Your late unfort’nate husband
should have taught it you, and then, per¬
haps, he might have been alive now. I
wish he was, poor man!”
Mrs. Bumble, seeing at a glance that
the decisive moment had now arrived, and
that a blow struck for the mastership on
one side or other must necessarily be final
and conclusive, no sooner heard this allu¬
sion to the dead and gone, than she dropped
into a chair, and, with a loud scream that
Mr. Bumble was a hard-hearted brute, fell
into a paroxysm of tears.
But tears were not the things to find
their way to Mr. Bumble’s soul ; his heart
was water-proof. Like washable beaver
hats, that improve with rain, his nerves
were rendered stouter and more vigorous
by showers of tears, which, being tokens
of his own power, pleased and exalted him.
He yet his good lady with looks of great
satisfaction, and begged in an encouraging
manner that she would cry her hardest, the
exercise being looked upon by the faculty
as strongly conducive to health.
“It opens the lungs, washes the coun¬
tenance, exercises the eyes, and softens
down the temper,” said Mr. Bumble ; “so
cry away.”
As he discharged himself of this plea¬
santry, Mr. Bumble took his hat from a
peg, and putting it on rather rakishly on
one side, as a man might do who felt he
had asserted his superiority in a becoming
manner, thrust his hands into his pockets,
and sauntered towards the door with much
ease and waggishness depicted in his
whole appearance.
Now Mrs. Corney that was, had tried
the tears, because they were less trouble¬
some than a manual assault; but she was
quite prepared to make trial of the latter
not long in discovering.
The first proof he experienced of the
fact was conveyed in a hollow sound, im¬
mediately succeeded by the sudden flying
off of his hat to the opposite end of the
room. ‘This preliminary proceeding lay¬
ing bare his head, the expert lady, clasp¬
ing him tight round the throat with one
hand, inflicted a shower of blows (dealt
it with the other. This done, she cre¬
ated a little variety by scratching his face
and tearing his hair off, and having by
this time inflicted as much punishment as
she deemed necessary for the offence, she
pushed him over a chair, which was luck¬
ily well situated for the purpose, and de¬
fied him to talk about his prerogative
again if he dared.
sc (ret up,” said Mrs. Bumble, in a voice
of command, “and take yourself away
from here, unless you want me to do
something desperate.”
Mr. Bumble rose with a very rueful
countenance, wondering much what some¬
thing desperate might be, and picking up
his hat, looked towards the door,
“Are you going?” demanded Mrs.
Bumble.
cc Certainly, my dear, certainly,” rejoin¬
ed Mr. Bumble, making a quicker motion
towards the door. “I didn’t intend to—
I’m going, my dear—you are so very vio¬
lent, that really I ti
At this instant Mrs. Bumble stepped
hastily forward to replace the carpet,