Stranica 134 [134]
94
c Sweet, Mr. Bumble?" inquired the
matron, taking up the sugar-basin.
“Very sweet, indeed, majam," replied
Mr. Bumble. He fixed his eyes on Mrs.
Corney as he said this; and, if ever a
beadle looked tender, Mr. Bumble was
that beadle at that moment.
The tea was made, and handed in
silence. Mr. Bumble, having spread a
handkerchief over his knees to prevent
the crums from sullying the splendour
of his shorts, began to eat and drink,
varying these amusements occasionally
by fetching a deep sigh, which, however,
had no injurious effect upon his appetite,
but, on the contrary, rather seemed to
facilitate his operations in the tea and
toast department.
c You have a cat, ma’am, I see,” said
Mr. Bumble, glancing at one, who in the
centre of her family was basking before
the fire; “ and kittens too, I declare !”
‘‘T am so fond of them, Mr. Bumble,
you can’t think,” replied the matron.
“ They ’re so happy, so frolicsome, and so
cheerful, that they are quite companions
for me."
“Very nice animals, ma’am,” replied
Mr. Bumble approvingly; “so very do¬
mestic.” 16
“Oh, yes!” rejoined the matron with
enthusiasm; " so fond of their home too,
that it’s quite a pleasure, I’m sure.”
c Mrs. Corney, ma’am,” said Mr. Bum¬
ble slowly, and marking the time with
his teaspoon, § I mean to say this, ma’am,
that any cat or kitten that could live with
you, ma’am, and not be fond of its home,
rust be an ass, ma’am.”
6 Oh, Mr. Bumble!" remonstrated Mrs.
Corney.
“Jt "8 no use discuising facts, ma’am,”
said Mr. Bumble, slowly flourishing the
teaspoon with a kind of amorous dignity,
that made him doubly. impressive; “I
would drown it myself with pleasure.”
“Then you’re a cruel man,” said the
matron vivaciously, as she held out her
hand for the beadle’s cup, “and a very
hard-hearted man besides."
cc Hard-hearted, ma’am !" said Mr. Bum¬
ble, § hard!" Mr. Bumble resigned his
cup without another word, squeezed Mrs.
Corney’s little finger as.she took it, and
inflicted two open-handed slaps upon his
laced waistcoat, gave a mighty sigh, and
hitched his chair a very little morsel far¬
ther from the fire.
It was a round table; and as Mrs. Cor¬
ney and Mr. Bumble had been sitting op¬
nosite each other, with no great space be¬
tween them, and fronting the fire, it will
be seen that Mr. Bumble, in receding
from the fire, and still keeping at the ta¬
ble, increased the distance between him¬
self and Mrs. Corney; which proceeding
some prudent readers will doubtless be
disposed to admire, and to consider as an
act of great heroism on Mr. Bumble’s part,
he being in some sort tempted by time,
place, and opportunity to give utterance
to certain soft nothings, which, however
well they may become the lips of the light
and thoughtless, do seem immeasurably
beneath the dignity of the judges of the
land, members of parliament, ministers of
state, lord-mayors, and other great public
functionaries, but more particularly be¬
neath the stateliness and gravity of a bea¬
dle, who (as is well known) should be the
sternest and most inflexible among them
all.
Whatever were Mr. Bumble’s inten¬
tions, however,—and no doubt they were
of the best,—whatever they were, it un¬
fortunately happened, as has twice before
been remarked, that the table was a round
one; consequently Mr. Bumble, moving
his chair by little and little, soon began to
diminish the distance between himself
and the matron, and, continuing to travel
round the outer edge of the circle, brought
his chair in time close to that in which
the matron was seated. Indeed, the two
chairs touched; and, when they did s0,
Mr. Bumble stopped.
Now, if the matron had moved her chair
to the right, she would have been scorch¬
ed by the fire, and if to the left, she must
have fallen into Mr. Bumble’s arms; so
(being a discreet matron, and no doubt
foreseeing these consequences ata glance.)
she remained where she was, and handed
Mr. Bumble another cup of tea.
c Hard-hearted, Mrs. Corney?” said
Mr. Bumble, stirring his tea, and looking
up into the matron’s face; “are you hard¬
hearted, Mrs. Corney ?”
‘Dear me!" exclaimed the matron,
“ what a very curious question from a sin¬
gle man! What can you want to know
for, Mr. Bumble ?”’
The beadle drank his tea to the last
drop, finished a piece of toast, whisked
the crums off his knees, wiped his lips,
and deliberately kissed the matron.
‘Mr. Bumble,” cried that discreet lady
in a whisper, for the fright was so great
that she quite lost her voice, § Mr. Bum¬
ble, I shall scream!” Mr. Bumble made
no reply, but in a slow and dignified man¬
ner put his arm round the matron’s waist.