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24 “Think so?” said the undertaker in atone which half admitted and half disputed the probability of the event. "" The prices allowed by the board are very small, Mr. Bumble.” c So are the coffins,” rephed the beadle, with precisely as near an approach. to a laugh as a great official ought to indulge in. Mr. Sowerberry was much tickled at this, as of course he ought to be, and laughed a long time without cessation. c Well, well, Mr. Bumble,” he said at length, “ there ’s no denying that, since the new system of feeding has come in, the coffins are something narrower and more shallow than they used to bes but we must have some profit, Mr. Bumble. Well-seasoned timber is an expensive article, sir; and all the iron handles come by canal from Birmingham.” “ Well, well,” said Mr. Bumble, “ every trade has its drawbacks, and a fair profit is of course allowable.” “ Of course, of course,” replied the undertaker; “and if I don’t get a profit upon this or that particular article, why, I make it up in the long run, you see—he! he! he!” *“ Just so,” said Mr. Bumble. * Though I must say,”—continued the servations which the beadle had interrupted,—* though I must say, Mr. Bumble, that I have to contend against one very great disadvantage, which is, that all the stout people go off the quickest— I mean that the people who have been better off, and have paid rates for many "years, are the first to sink when they come . -into the house ; and let me tell you, Mr. Bumble, that three or four inches over one’s calculation makes a great hole in one’s profits, especially when one has a family to provide for, sir.” As Mr. Sowerberry said this, with the becoming indignation of an ill-used man, ‘and as Mr. Bumble felt that it rather ‘tended to convey a reflection on the honour of the parish, the latter gentleman thought it advisable to change the subject; and Oliver Twist being uppermost in his mind, he made him his theme. 6 Bv tae bye,” said Mr. Bumble, “ you don’t know anybody who wants a boy, do you—a porochial ’prentis, who is at present a dead-weight—a millstone, as I may gay—round the porochial throat? Liberal terms, Mr. Sowerberry—liberal terms ;”— and, as Mr. Bumble spoke, he raised his cane to the bill above him, and gave three which were printed therein in Roman capitals of gigantic size. | s Gadso!” said the undertaker, takin Mr. Bumble by the gilt-edged lappel o his official coat; “that’s just the very thing I wanted to speak to you about. You know—dear me, what a very elegant button this is, Mr. Bumble; I never noticed it before.” c Yes, I think it is rather pretty,” said the beadle, glancing proudly downwards at the large brass buttons which embellished his coat. " The die is the same as the porochial seal,—the Good Samaritan healing the sick and bruised man. The board presented it to me on New-year’s morning, Mr. Sowerberry. I put it on, I remember, for the first time, to attend the inquest on that reduced tradesman who died in a doorway at midnight.” s6 JT recollect,” said the undertaker. "The jury brought in ‘ Died from exposure to the cold, and want of the common necessaries of life,’—didn’t they ?” Mr. Bumble nodded. c And they made it a special verdict, I think,” said the undertaker, “by adding some words to the effect, that if the relieving officer had 23 4 'Tush—foolery !" interposed the beadle angrily. “If the board attended to all the nonsense that ignorant jurymen — talk, they "d have enough to do.” | “ Very true,” said the undertaker; "they would indeed.” cc Juries,” said Mr. Bumble, grasping his cane tightly, as was his wont when working into a passion,—* juries is ineddi cated, vulgar, grovelling wretches.” (c So they are,” said the undertaker. “They haven’t no more philosophy or political economy about "Jem than that,” said the beadle, snapping his fingers con temptuously. «No more they have,” acquiesced the undertaker. c JT despise "em," said the beadle, growing very red in the face. c So do I,” rejoined the undertaker. 6 And I only wish we’d a jury of the independent sort in the house for a week or two," said the beadle; “the rules and regulations of the board would soon bring their spirit down for them.” “Let ’em alone for that,” replied the undertaker. So saying, he smiled approvingly to calm the rising wrath of the indignant parish officer. | Mr. Bumble lifted off his cocked-hat, took a handkerchief from the inside of the crown, wiped from his forehead the per
